Lessons of Life / July 2000

A father speaks to his two sons and gives direction and instruction to them. The first son is obedient in his heart, desiring to do his very best. He regards the words of his father to be instruction and training, an opportunity to do well and please his father. On the other hand, the second son is disobedient in his heart and wants to avoid any requirements. He wishes to do his own will and strives to evade the duties and responsibilities given by his father. He regards the words of his father to be commands, ordinances, statutes, and law. Simply said, they are things he has to do. He thinks there is nothing to learn or to benefit in keeping them. The disobedient son holds his father's words in disdain and seeks only to avoid and evade his influence. On the other hand, the obedient son is thrilled to seek out the father's teaching. The lesson is simple: To some, the Torah, the word of our Heavenly Father is law. To others, the Torah means "teaching." Most New Testament translations and church leaders do not believe that you should obey the Torah. Therefore, they call it "Law." But to those who love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and might it is "." As David said in the 119th Psalm, "Thy Word is sweeter than the honey comb."

This is just one of the "Lessons of Life." There are, of course, many more. Not all of the lessons of life come from the Torah alone. The Book of Proverbs, for example, is a compendium of many lessons drawn from true life experiences. Each of these "teachings" and nuggets of wisdom enrich and strengthen our spiritual person. But the Book of Proverbs is not the "complete end all" of these lessons. It is just a starting point. Wisdom, knowledge, and understanding reach all the way to heaven itself. The pursuit of such wisdom is the very pursuit of God Himself. In my personal journey, I have experienced a number of these lessons. Many come directly from Torah "the teaching" and some come from actual experience. I thought I would share some of each with you. The first, from Torah, is a very practical and yet very significant lesson.

The difference between wants and needs.

The ability to discern between a want and a need, to act on your needs first and say "No" to your wants, is a true act of maturity and wisdom. In the spiritual realm this is essential to discipleship. Let's make sure that we have a clear definition between the two before we illustrate the lesson. Wants are lusts. Lusts have to do with appetites. You can lust for food, sex, or power of life (pride). There is nothing inherently wrong with food, sex, and the drive to do well. It is when these appetites take priority over one's needs that wants (lusts) do their harm. Needs are simple. Everyone needs water, food, shelter, love, care, and a host of things to work, live, and play successfully. Needs must take priority over wants. You can live without wants, but needs diminish life if they are not satisfied.

The second point we need to understand, and this is crucial to spiritual maturity, is that God is in the business of meeting needs not wants. Needs can be satisfied, but wants will never be satisfied. God will satisfy your needs, but even God knows that wants can never be satisfied. Wants and lusts are like a fire. No matter how many logs you throw on a fire, the fire can always take another log. The fire will never say that one more log is all it wants. It simply always wants more. Lusts are referred to as fires in the soul. The fire always want more. The eyes also can never be satisfied. Once you see something, you will always want to see more. This is why pornography is so popular. The mix of sexual lusts and the eyes is a very powerful combination. The advertising industry knows that sex sells everything from cars to toothpaste. They are stimulating in us our lusts by what we see. It doesn't have to be sex either. It can be food or taste. Look at the advertisements for hamburgers. It can be ego and looking cool. The fashion industry tries to anticipate the latest "cool and sexy" look each season. All of these wants feed into personal gratifications and desires.

We have all seen a host of examples where people can not say no to their want of food, sex, drugs, greed, money, or power. Some use the clinical term "addiction" to describe their extreme behavior. Extreme or mild, being driven by wants, appetites, and lusts is a sure recipe for disaster in one's life. Real needs of the person and their family will suffer if wants are given priority.

Maturity is having the proper balance between wants and needs. A mature person will maintain balance and be patient with their wants and focus on satisfying needs first. I heard of a test given to children just beginning school that forecasts the child's success in school. They sit a child at his or her desk, placing a single marshmallow in front of them. The teacher explains that if the child waits and does not eat the marshmallow while the teacher leaves the room, the child will receive a second marshmallow. However, if the child eats the marshmallow before the teacher returns they will not receive the second. The children that wait generally do better in the education system. Those that can not say "No" to instant gratification do poorer in their overall education. I believe that we are all participating in a marshmallow test of sorts with our mortal lives and a future heavenly reward.

Another pitfall of wants over needs is when people start mixing their rights with their wants. By that I mean, some people convince themselves that they deserve to be treated special and their wants must be met to prove their worth. The Bible refers to this special set of rights as vanity. Vanity will lead an average, normal, balanced person to pursue a set of wants like their life depends upon it. Consider the vanity of facial makeup, woman's attire, and home decoration. On the male side, consider ego, looking tough, and the size of their toys. Solomon said, "All is vanity."

Sometimes confusion of wants over needs comes as a result of injury or victimization. People who have suffered without their needs fulfilled will hoard or hold onto things they clearly do not need. Holocaust survivors who have suffered starvation will sometimes keep more food in their houses than they can ever eat. This is very understandable. But how do you explain a collection or a hobby that is maintained while needs suffer loss? If you question these wants, you will find that the person rationalizes their behavior. They will justify them as needs. This can lead to obsessive compulsive behavior.

The apostle James says that prayers for lusts are not answered by God and that these lusts lead to sin, fighting and wars. But if it is a need, God says, "Ask, and you will receive."

The issue of wants and needs is of particular attention in the Torah. The book of Numbers illustrates it to us right after the children of Israel left Mount Sinai with the Tabernacle. They had experienced the voice of God, the giving of manna, quail, water from the Rock, and the golden calf. And then they did something devastating…

"We want meat!" The story goes like this:

And the rabble who were among them had greedy desires; and also the sons of Israel wept again and said, "Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna."

Numbers 11:4-6

The rabble there is just like the rabble today. These are people who are driven by the lusts of life and can not do the reasonable and right thing. Further, they stimulate others around them to join into pursuing their wants. They have greedy desires. Maybe, they think they have God figured out. Doesn't He say that He gives us favor we don't deserve (grace)? Doesn't He say, "Ask and you will receive?" Why don't we ask for what we don't deserve and ask for what we want? "We'll treat Him like a big Santa Claus, a genie from a bottle, or a sugar daddy." Don't we have preachers today telling us that God wants all of you to be rich? Don't they tell us to give to them and God will give riches to the giver?

Maybe most don't think that they can demand of God but they do expect God to give them final choice. Israel's palate (appetite) liked the variety of fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic they got in Egypt. Manna alone was not much of a choice. What did it mean when Israel rejected God's manna?

The children of Israel were saying that the food of slavery was better than the bread of freedom. They were saying that their wants (appetite) were more important than their needs (freedom and life). They were saying that they wanted to reject God's food. They went on to reject His salvation, deliverance, presence, and land. This is why that generation spent 40 years in the wilderness.

Several years ago when I was studying this lesson and I asked the Lord about the leeks. I knew what cucumbers, onions, and garlic were all about, but what were leeks. What is the big deal about leeks, Lord? So, to understand fully this lesson, I went out and bought some leeks. I made potato leek soup from a recipe. Leeks are like a mild onion in celery form. It was very good! I now make this special soup for my guests. When I serve it, I recount this story. I can understand why the children of Israel loved it, but I don't think it is better than freedom. The Torah story further explains God's and Moses responses.

Now Moses heard the people weeping throughout their families, each man at the doorway of his tent; and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly, and Moses was displeased. So Moses said to the Lord, "Why hast Thou been so hard on Thy servant? And why have I not found favor in Thy sight, that Thou hast laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that Thou shouldest say to me, >Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which Thou didst swear to their fathers? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, >Give us meat that we may eat!"

Numbers 11:10-13

Can you imagine people crying because they want to eat the food of slaves? The sages of Israel try to put the best spin they can on this. Some argue that while they had been made physically free, they were still slaves emotionally and mentally. Part of that may be true. It is true that they had not fully received the Torah, therefore, their minds were still captive and following the ways of slavery. The slave master will always give you some of your lusts and keep you chained that way. God is not a slave master who plays this game of subjection and control. God is for freedom and freedom means that people must be responsible for their behavior within a structure of laws. Freedom is not a free for all; freedom is based on truth. And truth comes from God and God's ways.

The reason for God's anger is not understood by many, but Moses expresses well his inability to meet this demand. Moses first argues that he is not everyone's father and can not be held responsible for everything they demand. Secondly, he addresses the logistics problem of feeding all the people. Where am I to get meat to give to all this people?

Let us stop for moment and address the fundamental question. Is the demand for meat a need or a want? Everyone needs food to live. Is this a demand for food to meet a life need? Have you ever heard the little proverb, "Do you eat to live or do you live to eat?" It is very clear here that this demand for meat is not to meet the need for life. This is a demand for a want. This is lust and greed in full bloom. This is the behavior of stupid slaves. "Give us what we want or we will riot or do some other bad thing." And they want God to behave like some heathen Pharaoh and give in to their demands. Consider this: While they are crying for meat from Moses, flocks are at their feet. They are near the Red Sea full of fish. If they were reasonable and patient in their desires they could have the taste of meat from their own hands, but instead they are giving way to lusts that can never be satisfied. When a person gets to this level; they are preparing to overdose on their wants.

And say to the people, "Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow, and you shall eat meat; for you have wept in the ears of the Lord, saying, Oh that someone would give us meat to eat! For we were well-off in Egypt. Therefore the Lord will give you meat and you shall eat. You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the Lord who is among you and have wept before Him, saying, Why did we ever leave Egypt?"

Numbers 11:18-20

If you eat something until it comes out of your nostrils, then you can clearly say that you have overdosed on it. Drug overdoses lead to death primarily because the person vomits while unconscious and chokes to death. Years ago, there was a singer named Janis Joplin who mocked God in her music. She would pray and sing, "Oh God give me a Mercedes-Benz!" Everyone knew that she asking God for a lustful want. One night she got drunk, passed out, vomited and choked to death. This is the kind of greed that chooses Egypt and death. Have you ever asked yourself why God allows us to abuse ourselves to such an extent? Haven't you ever wondered why He doesn't save us from ourselves and our lusts? How you answer those questions will tell you a lot about your own spiritual maturity.

When I was growing up, smoking was common place for adults. Kids liked to sneak cigarettes. I knew a kid who got caught sneaking cigarettes and his father cured him of smoking for life. The father took his son out to the garage and had him smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in an hour, until the kid was sick. The kid never smoked again, even as an adult. Technically, it is called "aversion therapy." It is an extremely effective way to teach something. It is also very unpleasant.

God has promised to meet needs, but He will not feed your lusts. You and I are responsible for our behavior. You teach the same lesson to your children. Have you ever seen spoiled children? These are children that every want is met by the parents. The parents can not say "No" to the child. The child becomes rotten and the parents are exhausted and frustrated. You can not satisfy wants. The real answer here is not to cater to wants but stick to needs. If the parents really love their children then they will teach them this lesson. This is what God did with the children of Israel. They went so far that He used their own lusts to judge them.

God used "aversion therapy" on the children of Israel by giving them meat "running out of their nostrils" for a month. Now Moses was intrigued as to how God would supply such a volume for this lesson.

But Moses said, "The people, among whom I am, are 600,000 on foot; yet Thou hast said, >I will give them meat in order that they may eat for a whole month. Should flocks and herds be slaughtered for them, to be sufficient for them? Or should all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, to be sufficient for them?" And the Lord said to Moses, AIs the Lord's power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not."

Numbers 11:21-23

It is estimated that the children of Israel numbered approximately 3,000,000 at this point. An army of men 20 to 50 years of age numbering 600,000 will have an even larger extended family. Can you imagine the amount of food just to feed one meal? But the Lord had said that He would provide meat for every meal for a whole month. Even Moses could not fathom the volume and asked about the flocks and fish of the sea. But God said that He would show Himself in this matter.

Now there went forth a wind from the Lord, and it brought quail from the sea, and let them fall beside the camp, about a day's journey on this side and a day's journey on the other side, all around the camp, and about two cubits deep on the surface of the ground. And the people spent all day and all night and all the next day, and gathered the quail (he who gathered least gathered ten homers) and they spread them out for themselves all around the camp. While the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the anger of the Lord was kindled against the people, and the Lord struck the people with a very severe plague. So the name of that place was called Kibroth-hattaavah, because there they buried the people who had been greedy.

Numbers 11:31-34

The least amount gathered was ten homers for each person. How much is a homer? According to reference source, a homer was a bushel basket full and a load for a donkey. Each person had ten of them. It must have been quite a scene. We don't know exactly how many died. The entire area became a burial ground. The dead were spread out like the quail, all around the camp. Kibroth-hattaavah means "the graves of the lust (greedy)."

The lesson here is pretty simple. If you allow your lusts and desires, your wants, to rule over you then you will eventually overdose and die. It can be an individual thing or a group thing. Learning this lesson will determine your future. It is the difference between being an alcoholic, a drug addict, obese, greedy, a sex pervert, a serial killer, and being normal, reasonable, and healthy. This is not a fun lesson to learn, but it is needed.

There are a host of other lessons to learn as well. Many don't come from the Torah. They come from life experience. Recently, I ran across an internet example. These stories are forwarded so often that the original author is sometimes lost. This is the case for what follows. I do not know the author's name but I think they speak for themselves. Like the book of Proverbs, we can benefit from other's experiences. So here goes with some minor editing on my part.

Knowing another person's name.

During my second year in education, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "Hello." I've never forgotten the lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Helping another person in need.

One night, about 11:30 pm, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address, thanked him and was driven away. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so such for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Remembering those who serve you.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely. The little boy counted his coins again. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping the table then swallowed hard. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip.

Clearing the path for others.

In ancient times, the story is told of a king who had a boulder placed in the roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.

After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's self. And, clearing the obstacle for others is also enabling you in the future to have a clear path.

Giving blood.

Many years ago, a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies, needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. He hesitated for a moment and then took a deep breath, "Yes, I'll do it, if it will save Liz." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in the bed next to his sister. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor's request. He thought he was going to give all of his blood to his sister and die.
Work like your not doing it for money. Sing like you're in the shower. Love like you'll never be hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. When your needs are met; look around you and see if anyone needs a little help, before you fulfill your wants. (P.S. Help them secretly and watch from a distance like the king.)

AI give you good instruction; do not forsake My Torah," God.

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